I Blog, Therefore I Am.

Got this funny "crush" meme from my niece/goddaughter, Kiara. It's really cute and child-like. It's a welcome change from my emo posts. I just want to acknowledge that there's a *new* guy in my life. Technically he's not yet a "guy in my life" since I don't even know if he know I exist.

I've done a lot mopping and crying in the previous years for my ex and it's very refreshing to actually have someone new in my life. It's about time! This is a start. Horay for me! Whew!

So, please, let me indulge! :)

Is he your age? Hmmm, I dunno. I think either we are of the same age or I am older by a year.

Has he ever talked to you or about you positively? He said "hello" once and there were a lot of times when we greeted each other at the hallway.

Has he given you the "cute look?" Yeah, I think. There were a couple of incidents I can recall when he gave me THE look.

Has he asked for your number? Personally? Nope. But since I am using a Service Unit number, he can easily get it from anyone in the office. I got his from some internal advisory. Haha!

Does he constantly look at you? Constantly? I dunno. But I am sure that he did look once or twice or thrice...

Does he ask you to hug him throughout the day? Whaaat?! I'll get there! I'll get there!

When you walk up does he ignore you? Haven't had the chance (or the reason) to approach him. But, this evening, I was talking to one of our officemates and he went to the area where we were talking to talk to another officemate. He was just a couple of feet away from moi.

Do you often find yourself starting the coversation? No reason to talk to him...YET. Soon, soon. I think we are both involved in one of Marketing's upcoming projects. Saw his name in the e-mail loop of the project brief that was sent recently! Woohoo!

If you answered yes, did the conversation end quickly? I answered NO above.

Do you wish to have a "notebook" romance? Notebook as in The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks? Uhhh, nope. Albeit uber-romantic, "The Notebook" book/movie's leading lady had Alzheimer's. If "notebook" in the sense that it's bloggable and diary-worthy then YES.

Is the guy you like very smart? Well, he's from SMART so he must smart. I've always been a nerdy-guy-magnet so I guess HE HAS TO BE smart or else...

Is he rebellious? I don't think so. He's very dedicated and religious. (I can notice and observe these tidbits as early as now).

Have you ever asked the person you liked out? Nope, nope.

What did he say if he said anything at all? Not applicable...YET.

Has he ever generously complimented you? Nah...! He will once he get to know me!

Are you married to the one you like? Haha! I don't even know if he knows me!

Have you had a good dream about this person? Good question. I dream A LOT. A clear indication of my 'likeness' towards someone lies heavily on the 'dream indicator' factor.

Does he look at you like a friend? I hope NOT.

Does he come to you with advice? He'll probably ask me for loyalty programs and delight projects advice soon.

Has he ever called you? Nope.

Have you ever called him? Nope.

Is he on your MySpace of Friendster? He's not in Friendster or I did not search/look close enough. I rarely open MySpace.

Does he avoid you? I don't think so.

Is he shy? I can see that he doesn't have a shy personality.

Have your parents met him? Not...YET! Hah!

Can he make you laugh? He can make his teammates laugh. They are always on a laugh trip!

Is he bossy? I don't think so. I heard him talking to someone earlier and he seemed courteous.

Has he tried to kiss you? There will be chaos at the 16th floor if he will ever attempt. :)

This is so FUN! Try if you want! I miss the feeling of giddiness! Me having a crush is a national event! Be happy for me! :)

My life is quite different now if I compare it six months ago.

I am more relaxed and contented now.
I laugh and smile a lot lately.
I am a free spirit again who sees the good in the bad.

I've been through one heck of a journey this year and I am just glad that it's all behind me now.

The first half of 2004 had been quite cruel for me beginning with the transfer of the Honda Marketing office in Sta. Rosa. Me along with my mighty friends were transported to the unknown with limited social spectrum to speak of. It was followed by a sudden "break-up" and parting of ways with me and three friends whom I've spent quite a number of bonding nights last year. The grueling pressures and stress of numerous Honda events and projects also took some of the limelight as I struggle with numerous test drives and launch projects. The work stress killed me and the office politics went on its all time high that made me say: enough is enough. A resignation from my beloved comfort zone soon followed without a concrete back-up plan on my part. Another tragedy rose when I got involved in a freak accident involving my right hand and ring finger. It took two operations to finally bring my right hand to a (almost) normal state. My catastrophe reached its peak with the accident and it died with a two month drought of unemployment while I was waiting for the right and perfect career.

My first few days in my new company were also miserable ones. I attempted to post some stuff about it but something always prevented me to do it (eg. post deleted, brown-out, not saved docs, etc.). The company is truly good. Maybe even better than Honda. The people are nice, work is okay, opportunities are better, salary and benefits are more than fine but I was just SO miserable and lonely. Plus I cannot seem to get closure from Honda. Every move or every shake that I do reminded me of who I WAS and what I used to represent. Damns.

Then here comes September.

I dunno where we (me and my current state) finally accepted each other. It was probably when the truckloads of work came in. Or when I was started given ultra-big responsibilities. Or when Mr. Crushie started paying attention. Who knows? At this point, I don't care. I am just glad because I am finally happy and contented. I am not saying that I found a gold mine in my new company and career (since this is still subject for argument) BUT I must say that I finally found a new life to be happy about. A life that somehow makes me complete.

Ohhh, the life...
...and I friggin' deserve it! : )

I dunno if it's still crushing or already crashing. I am going way gaga about this crush of mine.

Here are my evidences:

1. He's slowly curing my Internet addiction. I spend more time texting him or day dreaming about him rather than going on-line.

2. Concentrating on my work is way harder since he's just a few meters away.

3. I can't stop smiling. It's like I have a perma-smile on my face.

4. Our HR Manager told me yesterday that it seems I'm in love since I am "blooming".

5. I found a hundred reasons to go outside or to the cafeteria since I'll be passing his cube along the way.

6. I have a new reason to love "Felicity" since he reminds me of Noel.

7. I try on at least two outfits each morning.

8. I wear make-up (or lipstick and powder at least).

9. I love my new kuyas and their funny ways of match-making me to him.

10. The washroom is my bestfriend. I do re-touch around 5x a day.

11. I love texting, bluetooths, winpops and e-mails more than ever.

12. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. We've been having breakfast together since Friday.

13. I left my cellphone, magazine and wallet yesterday. I'm so out of it!

14. I am so "in the clouds".

15. I am the epitome of Ms. Friendship at the office.

16. Thank God for Aimee and her future spy career.

17. I love Market! Market! and Asian Institute of Management. They are the two reasons why we are going to have lunch together.

18. I love Yellow Cab pizzas and the way it made him happy yesterday.

19. I am thankful for those guys who were asking about me and the way he tells them to fall in line and submit their resumes and ITRs.

20. I am bursting all over and wanted to tell the whole world my happy stories but I dunno where to start THUS this laundry list.



GOING XAYMACA
Some guy (not my crushie-crushie) from the office asked me to go reggaeing in Xaymaca at QC on Friday. Duh?! I appreciate the invite but if he's interested he should've at least asked what music I like. I told him that I'd think about it since I'll be going somewhere Friday. He asked me in front of the whole department with everyone within earshot so what's a girl got to do? I even asked him if we are going alone and he said that we can ask ________ (name of my crush). DUH?! Sya na lang kaya wag sumama?! Since I was put on the spot (great tactics!) I kept on kicking Aimee to save me from the invite but she said that she can't go since she'll be at MBA class. Gee, some help. No offense to Xaymaca lovers (Hello Aileen!) but it's not my ideal first date place (except if your date is Dino Concepcion of Brownman Revival). *wink*



MARKET! MARKET!
I am scheduled to go to Market! Market! tomorrow for the mall's grand opening. Market! Market! at the Bonifacio Global City (The Fort) is one of the new high-rise mall projects of Ayala Land that will cater to a new breed of marketers and mallers. It will go big in retail and will even have tiangges outside (the Makati version of Greenhills?). I'll be there to check on one of our outlets and at the same time feel the coldness and comfort of the place since Carrier proudly powers the whole place.

The Market! Market! name was derived from the neighborhood Sari-sari Store.

I still have 30 minutes before dismissal yet I am already bumming. Work is so light these days and I must admit that I somehow miss the toxicity and stress. Whaaaat? Am I kidding myself? Aimee and I received our first work moolah last Saturday so we bought Yellow Cabs this afternoon due to the constant prodding of the boys. We ordered two huge Pepperoni and Mushroom Pizzas, which we devoured with gusto over our afternoon break. Yummy!

As for my "crush", well, he's overworked as usual (reminds me of me ages ago). I admire his dedication and tenacity to his work and his "undistracted" focus to it (read: he's not paying attention to me!). The highlights of our days are during mornings either before, during or after breakfast where we would endlessly laugh about some silly things OR after office where he would bring me to the lobby, to Alabang, or to my house.

~*oOo*~

This song is really appropriate to what I am feeling these days…

ONE HELLO
by Randy Crawford

If you're not afraid
Of what love brings
Then endings are beginnings
Of beautiful things
Its a chance you'll take
It's a chance you'll win
If someone's gonna find you
First you gotta let them in

Coz love begins with one hello
The hardest part is over
Now its easy letting go
One hello is how it starts
You might win it all or lose your heart

If you're not afraid
Of what you feel
Then try and keep it simple
Or try and keep it real
And if being real means
Means you'll some day will say goodbye
Remember my friend
Goodbyes not the end
Its a circle you know
And it starts with one hello

Love begins with one hello
The hardest part is over
Now it's easy letting go
One hello is how it starts
Remember my friend
Goodbyes not the end
Its a circle you know
And it starts with one hello
It starts with one hello

I am going mental! Some guy is driving me crazy.

I can't stop thinking about him and my friends are all laughing over this new kakikayan and rediscovered teen-age obssession of mine. Is this me? I feel so foreign about it. Aileen already pointed to me the obvious (?!) at Tabulas (that the guy is also digging me), Olen is so patient with my e-mails with parting words of "my crush is not here, he's on a meeting" and Bugs is calling me at least twice a day to "analyze the current situation". The latter even sent me an SMS this evening that goes: "Hello Lover Girl! How's your day?" Ewwww! So NOT me.

Unfortunately, I cannot divulge too much information on this blog for fear of being "discovered". But I have a Tabulas blog account where I bore my friends to death with all my silly stories. Get an account and be added as my friend! This is a major milestone and YOU have to hear all about it! Haha! Anyway, me and the guy are still in the awkward but exciting stage of getting-to-know-you and endless SMS exchange (and I can't believe that I am actually playing along with it). I am friggin' twenty-six years old and he's friggin' twenty-seven years old yet we are acting like two college kids! I am even worse since I over-analyze every bit of movement from him. What happened to me? Where's the twentysomething career-driven gal that I know? I was so "out of it" at work and I have this silly grin the entire day. AND I so hate myself whenever he ask me something. I caught myself saying at least two incoherent replies to him this afternoon alone. Dumbness! What the heck happened to my brilliant, witty, flowery comebacks? Gee, they are all down the drain with my freakin' sense!

For his part...well...IF he ever do have feelings for me, he's handling it very well. He knows how to prioritize things and knows what's not to mix (work and lovelife?). We are even slowly developing a pattern that only the two of us knows. *wink* BUT BUT BUT I still have this nagging feeling that he's just being friendly and gentlemanly (is there such a word?) to me. Nothing more. He never treats me differently from the other girls and he still crack boyish humors to me. He actually reminds me of my Olen's Bim. They are both too good-natured and too kind to the human race. *smiles*

He's really the epitome of a Mr. Nice Guy so he brought me to Alabang this evening though it's not on his way home. I dunno if I should give more meaning to his kindness or not since he's really THAT way. Plus, he doesn't have any choice but to offer me a ride since it was quite late already. Nevertheless, I almost jumped and shouted for joy after he dropped me off. I am so freakingly happy that I impulsively bought a new orange blouse that's out of my budget.

P.S.
BUT he did ask me to a day-trip to Anilao this weekend and was rallying me to save and join him (and other friends) at El Nido later this year. He's so into watersports. Hmmmm?

TOP "HIGHS" OF THE WEEK
1. Open VL yesterday! Yay!
2. Roadtrip with the girls to and from Subic
3. On-line pictures from Tagaytay Highlands
4. 4:15 pm dismissal from Monday until Wednesday
5. Kidding around with a good friend last Tuesday at the hallway
6. Having nice conversations with a good friend at the fountain area
7. Vacation @ Mactan Shang on the 22nd to 24th
8. Gabbie's funny antics
9. Relaxing massage from Mendez's Wellness Clinic @ Mega
10. French toenails c/o Tips n' Toes

TOP "LOWS" OF THE WEEK
1. Being forced to go to the Subic Summer Outing by the bosses
2. The "all for show" post of her about him marrying his ex daw (yeah right! whatev!)
3. Her! Her! Her!
4. Too many pending proposals on my incoming tray (Just call me ASIMO!)
5. Lack of on-line time (What is enough, anyway?)
6. Reggie's last days @ Honda
7. YM with Tintin (Girl, you made me realize 'something'! Grrr!)
8. Lack of SMS reply from a good friend (again...what is enough?)

Reposted from my other blog you dunno anything about...

I was in total daze the whole afternoon and was truly looking forward to spending the weekend in the comforts of my room. So dazed and jaded that it TRULY slipped my mind that the reason for the dozens of flowers surrounding the confines of our office was because of Valentine's (I thought someone is just celebrating her birthday thus the flowers. It finally dawned on me when I saw the third dozen of roses at a desk near Takano's). His secretary laughed at my "sudden" awareness of "the worldwide event" and its connection with the damn flowers. She also said: "Ohmygod! Valentines and boyfriendless?", to which I replied: "Yeah, two years and counting..."

After that, I went back to my desk feeling low. This is NOT me. I used to be one of those mushy romantic types who truly digs flower deliveries, sappy poems and the like. I cannot accept the fact that I'm becoming cynical on the notions of love and falling in love. It's not bitterness (as I assume most of you are thinking), it's actually indifference. DEDMA. Love is slowly becoming a peculiar word in my dictionary.

So, I've thought.

To say that my world is different now is quite understated.
Seemingly harmless Friday night dinner and drinks suddenly became rituals that we look forward to. They say that familiarity breeds contempt...but I think otherwise. Familiarity and constant togetherness breeds something else. Something wonderful, actually.

Thirty minutes before "closing time"...while I'm anticipating the relaxing night I'm planning for myself...*kaboom* here comes my boss (not Rache but the bigger boss) asking me to do an impromtu design presentation with the other BIG bosses. Huh? To make the story short...it took 2 hours before I was finally "released". To my surprise, my otherwise impatient friends/officemates are still waiting for me. They asked me to our usual Friday night ritual that I'm planning to skip. Heck, its late anyway so might as well join them for dinner and drinks.

Well, I am glad that I came *surprise surprise*...