I Blog, Therefore I Am.

Thanks for being my soundboard for the last five years. I can't believe that we've been together since 2004 (longer than any of my past romantic relationships). Thanks for sticking and witnessing the last five years of my life - which ironically were also the most important ones.

You're such a great buddy. You've always been there for me even if I neglected you in the past. I know that you still haven't forgiven me for almost ditching you when I was stressed and overworked at Goodyear three years back. But I also know that I more than made up for that when I won you the Pond's Age Miracle Blog Writing Contest last year. People were so happy about you that I've been asked twice to join other blog writing contests by a couple of PR firms since winning in July. I unfortunately have to turn it down because I don't have the energy and time to devote on it. I was also asked just recently to test some blogging platform but you and I both know that I cannot do it because of obvious conflicts. :)

People are always asking me why I keep you. My reasons varied in the last five years - from keeping an on-line memory repository to keeping my sanity intact by having a "venting machine". But I know now why you are here. I just learned recently your purpose. Writing and publishing something about me is for my future generations. I know for sure that no one will be interested to write my story ala "Diary of Anne Frank" so I figured that I should just do it myself through you. It would be great for my future kids to read how I lived and loved. It will hopefully teach them what to avoid in the future (eg. men with commitment issues, mean colleagues and bosses who doesn't give a sh!t about you, etc.). If in case I will not be married or have kids, I am sure that my niece Gabbie will have a riot reading you and learning about my friends, our adventures, my crazy antics, food loving, and fun travels.

You are definitely one of my most precious possessions. I often read your archive especially when something is bugging me. I often search it for insights whenever I need to decide on something or if I am confused. My memories are kept alive because of you and for that I am grateful.

I vow to keep you as long as I can. Thanks for all that has been and for all that will be! Happy Blog Birthday!

Love,
Abbie

P.S.
Isn't it weird that you share the same birthday with one of my ex-beloveds? I started you six months before he came into my life. Now I wouldn't be able to forget his birthday because of YOU. Sheesh.

Facebook is the new battleground for memes, surveys and quizzes. A certain meme is making the rounds among friends and I was tagged to do it by no less than 17 people. I finally succumbed to it tonight and answered it.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

1. I have a very long name, Anna Vida Theresa, and I love it. I hate it when people do shortcuts on it or omit one of the names in documents. I want it long and complete.

2. My mom told me recently (like a month ago) that I almost died when I was 7 months old. She said that I had non-stop diarrhea and they even had my IV on my infant head!

3. I am generally a nice person. I am also very optimistic. I am the epitome of sunshine!

4. My mother is the most important person in my life. Period.

5. I have a very weird personality. I am very extrovert, loud, and can talk non-stop for hours BUT I also enjoy being alone and just staying at home. I often prefer eating or watching movie alone. I definitely want to shop alone.

6. I am literally a "dreamer". I always have vivid dreams when sleeping.

7. I chose the right course in college. I know what's my calling even then.

8. I have gazillion friends and acquaintances but I learned in the last few years that quality is better than quantity. I am still friends with a lot of people but I hang-out with just a few.

9. My favorite time of the day is early evening. Creative thoughts and ideas usually kick in at 7:00 at night and it can last until 4:00 am. I am usually mentally "dead" in the morning!

10. My first love is reading. I read everything from carton boxes to hard-bound novels. One of my resolutions this year is to read more. Six months into the new year and I already finished The American Wife (Curtis Sittenfeld), Sisters (Danielle Steel) and I am currently reading Living History (HRC's autobiography).

11. I've been blogging since mid-2003. It was Aileen who influenced me and I plunged into it because I need an outlet for my then 'quarter-life crisis'. My entries evolved since then and gone now are the drama and love dilemma posts of my 20s. My posts now are happier but less personal.

12. I won in Pond's Age Miracle's 7-Days of Beauty blog writing contest last year. My prize? A 3G iPhone.

13. What to know what I'm up to at this very moment? Try Twitter.

14. I religiously download the following shows every Friday night for my weekend watch: Grey's Anatomy, Brothers & Sisters, Gossip Girl, Privileged, 90210 and American Idol. I am also watching old West Wing episodes via DVD.

15. I am very OC when using punctuation marks and small/upper cases/capital letters in writing. i hate seeing small letters in beginning letters in sentences like THIS sentence. I also hate seeing "I" in small letters.

16. Two of my ex-boyfriends got the same name. How weird is that?

17. I enjoy driving! After years of procrastination I finally learned how to drive in May 2005. My fastest driving speed is 140kph at The Skyway on my way to Makati; and my longest drive was 5 hours straight to Quezon then back to Laguna again for another 5 hours of drive (with only 3 hours of rest interval).

18. I've been wearing my hair long and straight (with the occasional layers) since 2001. I am not going back to short hair...ever!

19. I got myself a new toy last Christmas: a Canon DSLR. I'm fascinated with food photography and it's something I want to delve into. I am going to enroll myself in a Basic Photography class but I can't find time to do it at the moment.

20. My word of the year is "collaboration". Last year's was "project" and 2007's was "celebration".

21. I am a closet politics fan. I don't express my views and opinions often but I am fascinated to hear what others think. Politics is fun!

22. I am an information junkie and a history buff. I usually spend at least an hour a week reading Wikipedia or other information sites on random topics, policies, views, opinions, scorecards, statistics and articles. Last week's topic was the evolution and history of Roe v. Wade.

23. The last three weeks at work were super busy ones. A new job function that was given to me is making me anxious but excited. I am literally tired from working BUT I am not complaining and is actually grateful about it. I love my job! :)

24. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Too bad I'm indifferent about love at the moment. Heh!

25. I am such a great believer of love and all the neat things it can do to people. I was fortunate that love found me in the least expected moment in my life. Unexpectedly love also went away and broke me into pieces. I've longed moved on from the pain and hurt and is cool about it. Despite everything I am still a big believer of love...I am just too damn scared to fall again.

Some of the items above were actually taken from the former memes I had before. I recycled some because thinking 25 random things about you in one go is a bit narcissistic for me. :)

Now it's YOUR turn! Tag, tag, tag to anyone who wants to do this!

It's more than twenty three hours since the New Year and I am still stuck on 2008 (but not because I want to). It's just that I was too tired in the last few days to make a serious and emotional "looking back post" and it's only now that I become inspired to actually write one.

I usually describe my years according to the major milestones I felt or experienced in that year. Like 2004 was The Year I Fell In Love, alternately 2005 and 2006 were the The Year I Messed Up and The Year My Heart Got Broken In So Many Ways (I still can't decide which is which) and 2007 was The Year I Became Smart - literally and figuratively.

2008 was a year of great blessings for me. Yeah, I still have the occasional trials and hardships in various aspects of my life but it was nothing compared to the tumultuous years I had in the past (Hello, 2005 & 2006!). 2008 was very generous to me even if I don't deserve all the things that were given to me.

The Year I Turned Thirty was probably the best description I can give to 2008. Turning thirty years old (and single at that) can be a dread. I used to fear it when I was still on my twenties. But being on this year actually opened doors for me. Come with the age is the respect and a certain reverence. I am still funny, clumsy and carefree but I already sense a certain maturity within me which I've been hoping to achieve for years. My views and convictions are now on the serious path compared to the ideals I had a few years back. Oh, and thirty is "happiness". I'm now happier and more contented with my life compared before.

The most-asked-and-I-often-despise question of the year was of course the boyfriend question. "Do you have one?" "When are you going to have one?" "Mag-diet ka kaya so you can have one?" I am tired of answering these questions so I often answer in jest or sarcastically. My usual answers were "I am not interested!" or "I've long given up on love!". Then there will be another batch of questions and opinions ranging from "But why? You're still young! Don't give up!" to "Why? Are you now interested in women?". Oh well! The truth is I feel so indifferent about it. Yeah, there are guys out there who asks; and friends keep on fixing me up with people BUT I just don't feel it. The past, though very painful and a bit traumatic, is no longer an issue for me. I have longed forgiven myself and moved on from it. I just want to be happy all by myself for the meantime. I want to be single and discover things for the meantime. I want peace and serenity for now. I'll be ready when I'll be ready. :)

It was a less emotional year for me except for the fact that one of my good friends unexpectedly died last February. Binchy definitely struck a cord in all of us but we believe that he's now in a happier and better place. Aside from that, everything was smooth-sailing and drama-free. My relationship with my family and friends became stronger than ever and I was also given a chance to bond more with my bestest friends through several trips, vacations and travels last year.

Work is great and I learned a lot last year. There was the usual pressure and competition but it helped us more than it broke us. Heading a team was really a challenge especially if you were out to prove something. There were a lot of guts, second guessing and prayers involved as we launch one project after another. I am definitely happier and more contented with my current career compared to all the other past jobs I held. It allowed me to have independent ideas, kick-ass diskartes, and most importantly it gave me the opportunity to have a work and personal life balance. The pay-out at the end of the year were just icings on the cake.

I sailed through in 2008. It's a neutral year for me (boring at times actually) and I will definitely miss it. I am sure that 2009 will be a bit different since I know it will involve a lot of challenges and risk - not only for me but for everyone (Hello, Economy!). I also know that I will be fighting a lot of internal battles this year with the choices I will make...so help me God. Stay tuned!

Let's rock 2009! Happy New Year!

I was really fascinated by Time Magazine's Top 10 of Everything for 2008 and I think that it would be cool to do one for myself as a year-ender. "Ten of everything" would be too much for me so I am just limiting my list to my ultimate "tops" and favorite things.

TOP PEOPLE

Family
In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part. Enough said.





Forces Girlfriends + Jako
We've been through a lot this year - travels, dinners, quarrels, success, misunderstandings, profound e-mails, unions, engagements, singleness, happiness and broken hearts. Despite everything we've gone through we realized that we all love each other at the end of the day! :)



My CLRD Angels
The year will not be as sweet if not for my dear Marj and Kathy. We worked very hard and delivered a lot of projects that helped build subscribers' loyalty. I'll miss you, girls! Thanks for all that has been and for all that will be!

Gabsters
Our fondness and support for GDM was the one that introduced us to each other; but we discovered along the way that we have loads in common other than our PBB obsessions. Our BBQ Boy dinners were always riot events!

Ros + John + Eric
A common tragic event early this year made us closer to each other. It was not a "good year" for us but we all believe that it's already time to move on (Binchy would want it that way).

TOP TRAVELS

Boracay Birthday
This is my most traveled year! I'm out each month except in January. The one that stood out is my 30th birthday celebration in Boracay. My friends Tin, Aileen, Charo and Jako went with me last 888 (August 8, 2008) and had the time of our lives. The highlight of the trip? The Paraw Sunset Sailing!

Viva Vigan
My friends and I had a memorable roadtrip to Vigan last May. Aside from the cobblestones, the picturesque Spanish houses, and the yummy delicacies (I'm still craving for Martha's Bibingka until now), the trip was one for the books because we were were stranded in La Union for hours because of Typhoon Cosme. Our trip back home was 17 hours long. Whew!



Beautiful Bohol
Our Team Celebration Program in Bohol last September was great because there were only four (4) of us on the trip and it was my first time in Bohol! I can't wait to go back for more! Bohol is truly a relaxation haven!



Travel To Meet Subs
A huge chunk of my work-related travel this year was because of one of our loyalty programs. I was able to meet various subscribers all over the nation through this activity. They were all fun and enriching events and it gave me also the opportunity to visit Cabanatuan, Nueva Ecija and Balanga, Bataan for the first time. I also visited Cebu (twice), Davao (thrice), Baguio and Cagayan de Oro this year.

TOP EVENTS
(These are my non-travel events this year that are memorable. "Memorable" can either be happy or sad and a couple of entries here were unfortunately sad ones.)

My Pond's Beauty Blog
One of my non-work achievements of the year is winning the Pond's 7-day Beauty Blog. The "essay" (as my dad puts it) won me a new iPhone 3G and gift certificates.

Binchy's Passing
My good friend's unexpected death usually trumps the happy events of the year. We are still grieving but we know in our hearts that he's now in a happier place.

NatCon 2008
Customer Care's National Conference 2008 became a memorable one for me because of some unexpected twist of events. It still haunt me at times but I already learned from the experience. Things that doesn't kill you truly makes you stronger! :)

Vince & Eliza's Wedding
Ate finally tied the knot last November! The event was a joyous one and it gave me the opportunity to be reunited with my Real relatives whom some I haven't seen in years.



TOP GADGETS

Canon 1000D
Santa came this year and got me this! Eyeloveit! Definitely the gift of the year (or even the decade).



Nokia E71
Nokia did everything right with this phone. It's perfect (or perfect for me at least!). The slim design allows you to text using one hand, it has WiFi, cool interface, huge LCD screen and its HSDPA! Definitely one of the best Nokias in the market today.

iPhone 3G
Dubbed by most as The Gadget of the Year, it is not on top of my list because it's not the best - for me anyway. It has its greatness, ganda points, Internet anywhere and everywhere, and it's the best iPod ever...but it's far from perfect (jailbroken or otherwise). But I still love it to bits because it's "my trophy".

TOP TV SHOWS

Grey's Anatomy
The plot with Denny coming back to life is beyond absurd and George may be resigning but I still love this show! Nothing can keep me away from it despite the cheesiness of Mer and Der. My only wish? End the dead guy story and let Izzie fall in love with Alex.

Gossip Girl
One of my Twitter buddies thought I was on my early twenties because of my great love for these Upper East Siders. Season 2 made me fall in like with Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass together with the teens and tweens of the world. I still love Serena and Lily but I just can't stand the Humphreys especially Dan, the over-analyzer.



The West Wing
It might have ended a couple of years ago but I am still on Season 3 of this great political drama. I am so fascinated with life at the White House and my week is not complete without hearing the "CJ! CJ! CJ!" of the reporters at the make-believe press room.

Brothers & Sisters
Who doesn't want to be part of the Walker family and their famous dinners? I've decided this season that Kevin is my favorite Walker (aside from Nora of course). Who's your favorite?

TOP MOVIES

Sex and The City Movie
Seeing Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte once again is beyond words! Watching it at Powerplant with great friends after Pepper Lunch was also great.



Twilight
Seeing Bela and The Cullens come to life is more than enough to land this movie on the list despite its crapiness. Sorry, Twitter movie fans.

TOP BOOKS

Twilight Series
It was the much-hyped launch of Breaking Dawn in August which prompted me to read the series. It somehow filled the void that Harry Potter left me. Stephanie's writing was so bad (grammar and punctuation errors, over-plot, under-plot) but her great storytelling skills compensated for it. My favorites are Breaking Dawn, Eclipse and Alice Cullen.

American Wife
Time Magazine agrees with me that this is one of the best reads of 2008. It's a story of a librarian turned First Lady of the United States of America (sounds familiar?).



Remember Me
Another chick-lit of Sophie Kinsella which was patterned after the humor and sweetness of tUndomestic Goddess and Can You Keep A Secret?.

TOP RESTAURANTS
(Funny that everything on this list is a destination restaurant.)

Bigby's
I fell in love with their Grilled Rodeo Chops and Iced Tea! I had it four times this year: Bigby's Davao, Bigby's LimKetKai, Bigby's SM Cebu and Bigby's Ayala Center Terraces. They will open a branch in Manila soon! Yey!

Cyma
This was my "supposed" 30th birthday dinner. The Cyma feast we had in Boracay was one of the best dinners that my friends and I had of late. Greek food is truly love! Best Moussaka I've ever had!



Breakfast at Antonio's
I came back this year to this beloved restaurant that hold so many wonderful memories of yesteryears. Their steak is still tender and I still love it! Yum!

TOP ON-LINE SITES

Twitter
I tried Plurk for a couple of months but I came back to Twitter. If I can't blog then I usually express myself via Twitter's 140 characters. According to TweetStat, my average tweet per day is 7.3 and I usually send them 8:00 pm onwards. My most replied twitter friends are taetin (Tin), rivengodwind (Rodge) and lilacstardust (Aileen), siaz (Mitzi) and charuzee (Charo). No surprises here since they are also my real-life best buds! Twitter is our cheesmux extension.

Facebook
I joined Facebook in mid-2007 but I only realized its full potential early this year. Everyone who's anyone is on Facebook; and it's the best Social Networking Site ever!

Multiply
This has always been my favorite repository site for photos, videos, blog entries and music. Add me up!

iGoogle
A customizable one-stop shop for everything Google (and some more). It's always a joy to see my e-mail, google search tabs, Remember The Milk tasks, Google Reader feeds and various news all in one place. Thanks to Marj for the tip!

Thanks to 2008 for being such a wonderful year!

Credits to Bordoy Viterbo, Charo, Aileen and Marj for the photos.

Hello! I had a great last week of 2007. Christmas was spent with family and relatives at our annual get-together and reunion. This year's quite different since we spent it in one of my aunt's house that has a swimming pool. The kids were confused if they will swim or fight for presents. :) I also had my share of gifts this year but I think that I did more giving than receiving which is actually more than fine with me.

The last few days at work were also good. Two of the projects we are doing are both getting the response we wanted. We implemented a couple of communication plans in December and we learned last Friday that we are hitting the target.

On the social scene, I attended a couple of get-together last Thursday and Friday. We had our yearly Honda/Ex-Honda reunion at Bim & Olen's place in Cittadela. It was nice seeing again my God Daughters, Bela and Nicole. They are such cuties! Then my dear friend, Tintin, celebrated her birthday through a house party last Friday. Charo, Mitzi and I attended. Too bad Madamme Aileen was sick in bed so she was not able to attend. Click here and here for the pictures.

Before we bid goodbye to 2007, here's my year-ender to somehow document and give tribute to a very good and inspiring year. I never expected that I will end the year THIS good since I had a very bleak first quarter. I found the questions below from Ivah's blog and I incorporated some of the questions from my previous year-enders.

Hit it!

Name: Anna Vida Theresa Hemedes Real
Age: 29 years and 4 months

PLACES

1. Place you hung out most in this year:
My room and the office. I became more homebody this year and I spent more time at home than outside.

2. Favorite new place you discovered:
SMART Tower! Nothing beats my new job and my new office.

3. Places you went on dates:
I’ve only been out twice this year. It was a dateless year! One was in a restaurant in Glorietta 4 and the other one was in Westgate, Alabang.

4. Favorite vacation spot for the year:
No proper vacation, too! But I had a roadtrip with my family to Quezon in May and I went to Cebu on a business trip sometime in September.

5. Places you made out in this year:
Let me think...

PEOPLE:

1. People who taught you a lot this year:
My mom, my good friend Ros, and my new colleagues at SMART.

2. An old friend you rediscovered this year:
Mitzi. Her coming home this month was really great! We are in touch most of the time but nothing beats face to face conversations.

3. People who told you the nicest thing about yourself:
Ros and my Forces Girlfriends (remember our photoshoot and the session before it?).

4. People who did something really great for you and what:
My boss because he hired me and Dr. Calub of Asian Hospital who did my Open Cholecystectomy back in March.

5. People you spent the most time with this year:
My family, my co-workers, Forces Friends and Goodyear friends.

6. People you did something really great for and what:
My family. No explanation here.

7. Someone you wished you talk to this year:
No one. I think I did all the talking I can.

8. Someone whom you started a great new friendship with this year:
Twiggy. We used to be mere acquaintances back in college but we are now very good friends, Muchas Gracias to SMART.

9. Old enemies you made peace with this year:
I can think of one or two and I know that I have already forgiven them. After all, what I have right now is far better than what I had with them.

10. Someone you lost this year:
I have this friend whom I shared so many bonding moments before but she seemed to have forgotten me already. Not my lost. Really. Oh, I also lost my gallbladder this year!

11. Person you kissed this year:
There was this one person whom I almost kissed in the beginning of the year. Clue: He was also my last real kiss. Yeah, bummer. It was HIM still.

12. Person that made you laugh the most:
My niece Gabbie.

13. Person who made you cry:
I think there were still a couple of tears attributed to the ex.

14. Person you disliked when the year began but ended up becoming friends with:
Can’t think of any. Everyone’s been pretty consistent in my life this year.

15. Person you crushed on the entire year:
Haha! Not really the entire year! But there's this guy in the office that I fancy.

16. Someone you wished you apologized to:
There’s this guy who loves me but I cannot love back. I wish I can say sorry but can you apologize to someone because you cannot love them back?

17. People you went out on dates with:
Valentine's Date with Aileen and Charo and a couple of guys I would rather not mention.

18. Friends you went out with a lot:
Forces Girlfriends and Goodyear Friends.

19. Coolest person you met this year:
My blog and online buddies and my colleagues from BSD.

STUFF:

1. Clothing items you wore the most this year:
Black tops, asymmetrical tops, Havaianas and Schu Shoes

2. Nicest presents you got this year:
SMART bonuses, Goodyear back pay and my Sony Ericsson P990i and Nokia 6300 from myself to myself.

3. Favorite songs for the year:
Some of these are old – Josh Groban’s You’re Still You and Broken Vow, Regina Spektor's Samson, Maroon 5's Sunday Morning and Mandy Moore's version of Umbrella.

4. Coolest events of the year:
Moving on from him and the feeling, my acceptance at SMART, Josh Groban's Manila concert, Pinoy Big Brother, the return of Grey's Anatomy, my Cebu business trip, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, Forces of Nature photoshoot, this blog’s redesign, Ad Congress 2007 and SMART’s Christmas Parties.

5. New hobby you picked up this year:
Facebook (and its cool application games), Twitter, messageboard posting and PROJECT EUROPE!

6. Best Book of the year:
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows and Time Traveler’s Wife (only read it this year)

7. Best Movie:
I didn’t watch too much movie but here goes: Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix and One More Chance (yes!)

8. Best TV Shows:
Grey's Anatomy Season 4, Gossip Girl and Pinoy Big Brother Season 2

9. Most shocking news headline of the year:
The Manila Penninsula Stand-off. Click here for my views on it.

10. Favorite dishes of the year:
Lucky Me Pancit Canton, Luk Yuen's Congee and the usual Japanese foodies that I like.

LESSONS

1. Wisest thing you did this year:
I decided to move on from the ex and from Goodyear!

2. Stupidest thing you did this year:
Repeating some things that caused me meltdowns before.

3. Biggest change in your life this year:
From a stressed, disheveled workaholic to a fab career woman who actually have a life!

4. Biggest challenge of the year:
Looking for a fabulous new career that will trump all my previous jobs! (I actually did it!)

5. Something you learned the hard way:
Don’t push something that cannot be pushed.

6. Greatest lesson you learned this year about:
Love – You have to forgive yourself first for loving too much before you can move on and fall in love again. :)
Life – Life is great! Blessings are given to those who are kind and generous.

7. Best joke you've heard all year:
I am definitely not THE joke. Let us see who’s lauging NOW! Karma rocks!

8. Biggest disappointment of the year:
I am tempted to put my ex-company but the experience I had with them was actually a blessing in disguise.

9. Biggest blessings of the year:
What I am and where I am now. My friends, my family, my job and the things that makes me happy.

10. Biggest thing you discovered about the world:
Everyone and everything is just a click away.

FOR 2008

1. Goals and dreams for 2008:
Lose the baby fats, lose the adult fats, be more giving, more wisdom and perseverance at work, have a good ol' fashion loving, travel to my dream destinations, celebrate the 30th with a bang!

2. Predictions for 2008:
Love - This will be THE year with THE one!
Career - Better foresight, more effective projects and activities, more patience and understanding, more moolah!

Have a nice 2008! :)

Hi, my name is:
Abbie

Never in my life have I been:
Seriously betrothed to another person, an associate of an advertising agency or a traveler outside of Asia.

The one person who can drive me nuts is:
My dad, my mom and my bro. In that order.

High school is:
Where I found my lifelong friends.

When I'm nervous:
I get jumpy and distracted.

If I were to get married right now my Maid of Honor would be:
A toss coin (literally) between Tin, Aileen and Charo. Losers will be Bridesmaids. US-based Ivy and Mitz's chances are forfeited due to distance.



My hair is:
Long, straight and shiny. Indulge me, please. :)

When I was 10:
I was pissed because my friends became "grown ups" who doesn't want to play anymore. Aquanet became their best friend and it took the place of Kick Ball.

Last Christmas:
Was almost NOT like Christmas. My dad was in the hospital and we spent the holidays there.


Christmas '07 Decors at The Podium. So nice.

I should be:
More assertive, involved and BITCHY.

The happiest recent events were:
Our family Saturday dinner, some great news from work and the a-okay concept for an upcoming launch.

By this time next year:
I should be happier, more contented...and yeah...in a relationship.

My current gripe is:
Some admin stuff at work that I should not let pass.

I have a hard time understanding:
Math, men and their numerous issues and baggages, and Meredith & Lexie Grey's relationship.

There's this girl I know who:
Turned her back to fame, popularity and fortune to pursue her life's goal and true passion. I admire her for that. Very very few people can do that

You know I like you when:
I talk about you all the time, I text you and I blog about you.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be:
My Mom

Take my advice:
1) Get them when they are young! The older they get, the more issues they will have. 2) Resign when you still have enough drive to do it.

Something that I really want to buy is:
Another Dorothy Perkins pants and jeans, a Macbook Pro and a Canon 400D.

If you visited the place I was born:
You can go to Luneta Park after!

I plan to visit:
Iloilo in January for Tish's wedding and to Italy before I die.

I'd stop my wedding if:
It's not true love or if he's gay.

The world could do without:
Joseph Estrada

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
(THIS is not a question!)

Most recent thing I've bought myself:
A hot Pork Ball Congee at Luk Yuen at SM Megamall. I miss it SO much! It's my ultimate comfort food. I've been eating them since I was five years old. The branch in Glorietta 2 is obviously close due to the bomb(?) blast.



Most recent thing someone else bought me:
Chocolate Temptation Crepe of Crepes and Creams at Podium

This morning I:
Watched Grey's Anatomy Season4 Episode7 - Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction.

Got this meme from Apple and Jing. Tag to Aileen, Charo, Tin, Mitz, Jean, Mindy, Riz and to anyone who likes to do it.

I was planning to write a lengthy post on my adventures of the last 525,600 minutes. But, I guess, I wrote enough about it already and doing another post might be too much. I've been blessed with so many things and I believe that I haven't been thankful enough. Though a lot is not going the way I wanted it to be...I still know that I had a blessed and fruitful 28th year.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan.

Journeys. My twenty-eighth year is all about journeys. Journeys to self-discovery, journeys to self-reliance, journeys to great places and journeys to standing up after each fall. I walked, I drove, I rode and I definitely crawled a lot this year.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

There are so many truths I learned this year. From finally believing that I am not the ONE to accepting that I cannot do all things on my own. I had mixed feelings when I finally said goodbye to two relationships which are not doing anything good to me anymore. The first one was the love relationship which I thought would last forever and the other one was my stay at my last company. Both have bittersweet partings which I learned a lot from.

I also shed a lot of tears this year. My dad was hospitalized late last year and it definitely rocked my family's boat. It was unexpected and painful but it also showed who our real friends are. A lot of support were given to us by friends and family alike which we are very thankful until now. I never blog or write too much about my family, I guess it's one topic which I am not very open to discuss. We are all good and happy and I think that's enough information to give.

It's time now to sing out, tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!

A year in the life of friends. I have gazillions of friends! But as I grow older, I learned how to stick to a select group who have been with me through thick and thin on this journey of life. It's nice to celebrate with them every ups and downs that I encountered this year. Horay for friends!

Remember the love!
Seasons of love!

As I move on to the last year of my 20s, I hope that I would be given more blessings to share with my family and friends. The theme for the year to come is moving on and leaving the baggage and hurts of the past. Now that I am out of the rut, I pray and hope for better things to come. I also pray for good health for my family and rich (figuratively and literally) abundance of blessings for my friends. I also wish for a happy heart that would be able to give great love once more!

Thank you Lord for the gift of life! Thank you for the Seasons of Love!

"Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire, and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why."

I am on melancholic mood for so many reasons. The most obvious one - I'll be turning 28 in a few days. I always get a li'l bit blue this time of the year for unknown, mundane and random reasons. This year is especially hard because I'll be spending it "alone", figuratively speaking. It's hard. I cannot even put the proper words to describe what I am feeling inside. Do you know the crappy feeling of being with someone, communicating and connecting with someone, sitting closely beside someone YET not having him? That my friends is what I've been experiencing and kind of feeling lately. The martyrdom of loving someone silently and not doing anything about it truly sucks. I cannot do anything about it and I am not intending to do anything about it (yet). Yeah, I know that I should just walk away and leave but I am at the point where I already became dependent on his presence and on the friendship and sound advices he give. I just cannot leave and walk away. I just cannot turn my back easily. It's really so hard. Especially now when we are slowly showing to each other our "non-best-foot-forwards" which was absent before. Cliche as it may sound: I MIGHT not want to ruin the "blossoming" TRUE friendship and break the bond with an attempt to bring back the romance. (BUT I also don't want to settle for JUST the friendship either). Beats me. I don't know if I should stay and linger or just vanish from the face of the earth.

This is the most mature and genuine kind of love I've ever felt in my entire existence (how's that for a birthday gift to myself?). This is the "undying love" those friggin' poets were talking about. I had loved selflessly, in vain, possessively, obsessively, hopelessly, romantically, passionately BUT never in silence. I've always been loud even in loving. I express it, I cultivate it, and most importantly, I damn make sure that it's reciprocated. Not this time. I'm loving someone without expecting anything in return. Can you believe that? (Is this me?) Yeah, it's frustrating and annoying especially with me who always have to be reassured when feelings and emotions are involved. It's a different kind of love. This is true. It's not "being in love"...it's "loving" after "falling in love". The weird part? I somehow find satisfaction from it. I'm happy in my own little dreams and thoughts where he is mine and mine alone. I've somehow accepted the situation. I even find inner peace whenever I pray for him. Thoughts of him after a long and tiring day at the office even makes me giddy and inspired. It's unexplainable. It's weird.

Who is he? I cannot tell. But HE knows how I feel - he was even surprisingly shocked when I told him about it (and I thought it was obvious?). I know he's flattered but I also know that he thinks he doesn't deserve this grand and true affection since he only see me as a...weeelll...a very special friend.

But why love in silence when I can fight for it? I have two reasons. First, he made his happy choice and I'm letting him be and letting him go. I'm letting him play and conquer the world. If he gets lucky then that is my answer. If not...well...I'm pretty sure that he knows his way HOME. Second, I don't fight battles that I cannot win...YET. This is not YET the time. It's in HIS time. I think I still have to grow and learn some more. I'm still moving on, enriching and improving myself, and making myself genuinely happy on my own. If THAT time comes then GO (and he better be ready because I'll make sure that he's blown over) but if it doesn't then thy will be done. : )

P.S.
I might love in silence and from afar BUT I have this very strong faith in the "us". He will definitely hate me for saying this: If the sun refuse to shine, I will still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, it will still be you and me!

Some friends of mine saw this blog last year and asked where I get the energy to write such lengthy (and sometimes emotional) posts? Or more conveniently, where do I get the time to write down the things that bugged me, pissed me, or made me happy each blogging day? I actually don't know the answers. In fact, I sometime surprise myself that I can write and express myself with such drama, emotions, and even beauty and intellect at times. My writing style/s reflects WHO I AM or who I want to be - free-flowing and unrestricted. I have no formal writing education and my grammar is far from flawless - there were even times when I just let it be and wouldn't even bother to correct them. The idea of taking Journalism or Creative Writing in college bores me to death (I took instead the more exciting Mass Communication route). I cannot see myself spending time writing themes, poetry, haikus or any other structured forms of writings. WRITING IS MY ART and I want it like an abstract. It's a past time, a way to express my anger, love, and every bits of emotions that I feel inside - with the absence of an editor who will cross-mark, delete or revise what I wrote. On this blog - I am the unrestricted queen of the world. My word and work is all mine. This is my art.

Blogging soothes and comforts me in a way I cannot imagine. It's a direct form of release and expression. I may not be the best stage actress nor the ballerina that can pirouette in toe shoes* - but I know that I can be the best writer if I want to. The funny thing is part of my work at GY is develop news streams and press releases - and most of the time I am not THAT good. Weird 'no? For someone who can write 3 to 5 paragraphs in 20 minutes on daily musings, it can take me as much as 1 hour to write a decent and acceptable one paragraph news article. But I believe that it can change. It must change. My boss told me once to strengthen the things which I know I am best in doing which most people cannot do. He said that whatever it is will be my key to more wins and success not just in the workplace but life in general. WRITING is my answer. Anyone can conceptualize and implement a kick-ass consumer promotion given a few marketing experience and education, but not anyone can write. It's a gift which I now realize (and thankful) I have.

I started "writing" when my grade school friend, Lindsay, gave me an uber-cute Hello Kitty diary in 5th Grade. Prior to that, my "art" was ballet and my biggest dream was to go to advanced ballet class and learn how to dance in toe/point shoes. Sadly, I quit mid into my intermediate class to devote the time to studying. Stage acting became my life's art in highschool and for a time I even considered on going to Theater Arts in college. My parents discouraged me for the lack of life after the drama and the lights of being on stage. Nonetheless, the most notable and favorite character I played was Portia of Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. It was really no biggie and was just part of a class' final requirement for one of our subjects but it was just so memorable for me. Portia is William S's most kick-ass and a-okay heroine, she rocks! After those short but memorable stints in ballet and acting --- writing becomes me (along with the News Editor position in our highschool paper). I kindda lost it for a while during my "studious/nerdy phase" in college but thanks to blogging - I rediscovered it and made me realized that it's my treasured talent and gift.

So...I guess...watch out for those neat GY press releases from me, huh?

~*oOo*~

Favorite Song of the moment: I Love You More Today Than Yesterday

Born at 12:10 pm. Year is Nineteen Seventy Eight on the Eight month.
One distinctive mole at the lower right side of the eye.
Two brown eyes. One smiling lips.

Mama is Twenty Five. Papa is Thirty. Cried with joy upon seeing the babe covered in blood.
The first born (and proud of it).
Four happy Grand Parents.
Thirteen sets of uncles and aunts on one side and six sets on the other.
First ever trip was in Baguio at one year old.

Started school at two years and ten months.
One sibling. One sister in-law. One niece named Gabbie.

Went to Mary Help of Christian School at age six.
Childhood buddies with four girls named Naida, Nelia and Naomin.
Two certificates of recognition for Best in Attendance
(shucks! believe it or not!)
First crush at age nine with a guy named Henry.
Part of the twelve girls who used to call themselves NRG Gals.

Transferred to Canossa School for First Year.
Part of four classes with section names of Sts. Elizabeth, Ignatius, James & John.
90210 is such a zip code address.
Fell in love at fifteen.
Twelve became more important than ever.
Twelve red roses was given on Prom Night.
One 1st Place award for Current Events. One 3rd Place award for Religion.
Best Speaker (Filipino) in Second Year.
One 2nd Place award as Best Speaker (English) in Fourth Year.
Numerous drama (real and reel) throughout highschool.
Two sets of awesome friends. Ivy, Che, Cherry, Jo & Jovi and Tin, She & Jamie.



Canossa Graduation 1995

Assumption student number Ninety Five One Eighty Six.
Room 29 was first dorm room. Followed by 31, 14 & 28.
Two pancit canton a day makes the doctor go away.
Passed the qualifying exams for the Advertising & PR major in 2nd Year.
Made it to the Dean's List five times.
Director for two years at the highly-esteemed AC Comelec.
Belongs to PREX Class no. 12
Final GPA was 1.77 (with 1.0 being the highest). Almost but not quite.
Part of the twelve who loves hanging out at the lounge.
Kat, Tons, Tine, Willie, Mayee, May, Antoi, Tin, Kathy, Core & Moe

Started at Honda on the ninth of the sixth month.
Often referred as Nine Nine Two Four Six Nine in official records.
Three associates in the group.
Four blissful days in glorious Bora.
Three trips to Cagayan de Oro. Two trips to Bacolod.
Three stays at the Marco Polo.
Four times in Cebu.
Five years and six days at Honda Cars Philippines, Inc.
Resigned once.
Full of mighty friends.


ASIMO Photo Shoot with other "models".
Taken on my 25th Birthday last year.

Maid of Honor to Olen & Bim.
Bridesmaid to three. Veil sponsor to two.
Godmother to twelve.

Five friendships for life in Aileen, Ivy, Tin, Mitzi & Charo.
Three active blog sites: two in blogspot and one in Tabulas.
Hair straightened and relaxed five times.
5'2" in height but 5'5" with the favorite wedge shoes
5110. 6210. 6510. T68i. 3530. 3650. Six cellphones to date.
587 SMS to date from Olen. Count started last October.
Fell in love thrice.
P4 2.0 Ghz. 256MB RAM. 40 GB HDD.
16.6 GB of consumed space to date.
Three hundred twenty seven Friendster friends.
Eight neighborhoods in Sim City.
One month and twenty eight days of hiatus from work.
Two weeks waiting time given by Globe Telecom.
Prayed novena to St. Clare for nine days.

Twenty-six fruitful years!
Whatalife! Whew!

THANK YOU LORD FOR THE GIFT OF LIFE!

Love,
Abbie / Anna / Abs / Bie / Tabbie / Bry

Why do I still feel strongly for this guy?
Compared to him, the rest of the men in my life (huh? who are they?! where are they?) are all blahs! All my life I love this guy. There were several occasions when I thought I gave up this feelings. Well, that's what I thought.

Great loves can never be forgotten...EVER!

When I learned that he was getting serious with his girlfriend...
When he went to the US...
When his buddies told me that he and his girlfriend went to the US together...
...I've given up.

However, there are still "miracles"!

First, it is true that he and his girlfriend went to the US together but they went to separate states as soon as they landed. He went to hip Jersey while she went to hillybilly Tennessee.

Second, that same girlfriend (of more than three years) is now an EX like me. She's a conniving b*tch who left him to marry some Chinese guy; despite the fact that SHE owe her US visa to his ex's family!

Well, as for the last dilemma, it needs more miracle since he's still there and I'm still here. But with the Internet, YM, chat, webcam, voice chat, Skype, who cares if we are miles apart? *sigh* I do.

*sigh again* Who I am kidding? Who said that this will work? Distance is a big issue for us. It was distance that gave us nightmares before. It was distance that made us forget the love we shared almost 8 years ago. We were young, foolish and immature then but who said that we can make it this time?! Geez! What's happening to me? What I am thinking? THIS can never happen! Not in a million years! Plus, it is only me who's even considering this! As if he's even thinking about me! Aarrrggggh! &!%#$

Hearing his voice again after two years made me long for him again. I even dreamed about him last night! Dang! Dang! Dang! Grrr!

This is definitely NOT good.