Sunday, September 26, 2004

I should not be posting this. But I am.

I read on this month's Cosmopolitan Magazine that we should not be wary if we become too obsessive about our guy's little flaw too early in the relationship. They even said that "getting nitpicky is a sign that you're considering him as a possible real deal".

Same sentiments here. I get frustrated at the tiniest detail because I want it to work. I never wanted anything (or anyone for that matter) as badly as this one. It's freakin' frustrating me!

I like him. He seems perfect in my otherwise perfect world.
I just want him to blend in. I don't want to see his quirks and flaws this early.
I just wanted THIS to work.
How hard can that be?

After so many failed relationships, I only dreamed and prayed for one thing: a good man. I've dated, dined and merried with guys. I've been hurt and hit several times which made me a somewhat cynical-jaded-expert on the dating scene. This guy is someone totally NEW to me. He's very different from the rest of the guys I know. His last relationship was 7 years ago (do the math!) and that girl remains to be his first and last girlfriend. Whaaaaaaaat? Yup, I am the experienced one here, sistah! He told me that he's SCARED that's why he refused to commit all these years with the other girls (read: he's not gay, ok?) He's vulnerable to the aches of the universe. He's true, he's genuine, he's loyal, he's nice AND he's a good man. His inexperience with the dating scene somehow ticks me but it's also one of the things that draws me to him. He doesn't understand how the woman mind works and he sometimes cannot bridge the gap where my being an officemate ends and where my being THE girl begins. Is God giving me the good man I asked for? Do I really wanted THIS KIND of guy? I traveled full circles already and my preferences have changed through the years. BUT I am still undecided if I should go to the tease-life-of-the-party-dude or go traditional with my ideal good guy? Beats me.

We are still getting to know each other and we are taking it really really slow. The chemistry is killing us but we both know that we should invest a good amount of time for this stage. We are loving every moment of the goodness and giddiness that each day brings. We are happy and we are madly into each other. We also know that this might turn into the best loves of our lives. I wish I can also say that we will live happily ever after. NOT. There are still some "major" issues we have to face before the fairytale ending.

What I learned just NOW about HIM is definitely scandelilah!

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