Monday, January 03, 2005


I am so emotional lately and I don't know why. I kept on having this weird, insecure, paranoid feeling that often lead to bucket of tears. Is it the after effect of the holidays and the gloomy, lazy days it brings? Is it because of the disasters that the world is facing and I can't help but emphatize with it? Is it because of my deteriorating confidence because of some personally hated flaw?

I don't know! it can be anything, it can be something or absolutely nothing.

I know that I am NOT "not happy" because I am. Or should I say, I should be happy? Whatever. I am just more dramatic than usual these days. I cry at the drop of the hat. I get emotional and cry at almost everything and anything. I was reading some messages from my cellphone a while ago and I cried. I was reading some random blog and I cried. I was listening at some conversation at the office earlier (which is not in any way related to me) and I got sad about it. I felt bad about something earlier but instead of saying something about it I kept mum about it - which led me to more raging emotions inside. And now...I am posting this so labo entry with so labo grammar and sentence construction. What's happening to me? This is such a weird feeling. I feel like "I am not going to be happy again" which is just SO weird because I am happy right now. This is not some emotional baggage. In fact, I think I AM the emotional baggage. I actually pity the people around me who have to contend with my dramas and little tragedies. I need constant security, belongingness and reassurance these days. Little disappointments and set-backs easily becomes deal-breakers to me lately.

I am such an emotional wreck and this is not PMS. What a bummer.
Excuse me, while I cry...again.

Argh! Shoot me now!


On the lighter side, here are some pictures with my two closest friends, Aileen and Tin, on the last two days of 2004. It's very obvious that we can't get enough of red wine and analyzing our respective lives and lovelives. Hah! More details at Aileen's blog. (Hey Charo! You're in absentia for two consecutive bull sessions. Be there next time! Or else....hahaha! You know the rules. We missed you!)

Here's to a NEW YEAR full of wonderful memories!

Lanai Red, Westgate Alabang - December 30, 2004

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