Wednesday, May 19, 2004
:: FRAGMENTS OF MY LIFE ::
I dunno if I have to write about the recent events that happened in my life (since this is supposed to be an emotionless and fun blog, right?). But, what the heck, this might be part of my healing process...so here goes...
Last Friday while I was editing this very blog, I got into a freak accident involving my right hand. It got jammed in my brother's room door and the sudden impact caused 1/4 of my right ring finger to be cut off from the rest of me. So, I am only 98.9% complete these days (as Weng and Bim kiddingly puts it). It's such a tragedy and I never asked so many WHYs in my entire lifetime than that fateful night.
I felt that my life crumbled in a blink of an eye. What will happened to my dreams? Can I function without the tip of my right ring finger? WHY? Can I type or write? How about navigating the mouse? Can I ever experience my mouse's "right-click" again? Will I ever get married? Can you seriously consider marrying me without my right ring finger? Can I ever play volleyball or badminton again? How about my notoriously nice Assumption handwritting that is so good even on tamad moments? What about my Honda resignation? My pending applications?! WHY NOW?! WHY!?
At around 8:00 am last Saturday, May 15, I got my first ever dose of anaesthesia as they prepare for my 1st surgery. The operation lasted for almost two (2) hours and I recall having a lot of queasy feeling after. So many friends, relatives and visitors came to visit in the hospital. The first night were mostly cousins and aunts from my mom's side of the family, followed by friends from PREX and the church. Olen, Bim, Lee, Kaye and She also went to visit last night after I was discharged from the hospital. I also received so many texts and emails of well-wishes from friends and even mere acquaintances.
The complete healing process will be after another surgery to be scheduled after three weeks. I am currently sporting a bandaged right hand with only three fingers exposed (the pinkie has to support the damaged one). A possible reconstructive surgery is to be scheduled after the 2nd operation since my kikay mom (and her equally kikay sisters) will not allow their precious to be less that complete no matter what it takes. More than anything else, I think they are going to do it for my own sanity. I'm usually level-headed with a good sense of humor who sees the good even at bad times. But, honestly, what recently happened is no laughing matter. I am downplaying everything but I am still afraid of the effects that it will bring to me. I'm not in trauma nor having ugly dreams and nightmares but I am having irregularities in sleep again. The WHYs have stopped and I've somehow accepted the situation BUT there's still a tiny voice that pleads to HIM of wanting my life back.
MOM & DAD
Now, more than ever...THANKS, THANKS, THANKS! :) Thanks for being my source of strength these days.
My finger incident, though tragic, is only the tip of the iceberg. Not wanting to mull over my sad fate, I began my application again to several companies (despite my earlier promise of going lie-low until after the effectivity of my resignation). I drafted two (2) follow-up e-mails to my 1st and 2nd "targets". I know that TODAY will be the day of days when I will know the verdict of "my future career". True enough, Rina called around 3:10 pm through my cellphone. I immediately recognized the phone number and prepared for the worse. As soon as I heard her voice, I know that I did not get in. There's a somewhat sad tone in her that makes me want to say: "Okay, okay, I got it! Goodbye!". So, there...it's now OUT: I was not accepted at Sony. Who knows why! Except for that all-important panel interview, I knew I was at my best throughout my application. But I guess there are just some things that are not meant to be. I've invested a lot of time, effort, studying and researching for that application and until know it really bothers me why I was not accepted (read: more bothered than my accident). Well, I think its a matter of being at the right moment at the right time. My "all-out" vindication may not be that one. Oh! In case you are wondering, the position is for Ad & Promo Supervisor (read: hahahaha!) and the girl who got in was the third candidate (read again: not MM) that I never knew anything about. So I guess I have to say goodbye to those Clies, Vaios and T10s.
For my 2nd target, you dunno anything about that so enough kwento on that one. Basta they chose another person for the position. Which is actually quite okay since just thinking about what the job entails makes me tired. The only good thing about it is the moolah! Hah! It's actually a blessing in disguise.
Another recent disappointment is the lost of Weng (Oh Emman! There goes our contracts!) and Cleng's uncle in the gubernatorial race here in Laguna. Hay, money talks talaga. My friend, Marvin also placed no. 9 in the recent poll for councilor here in Cabuyao. So, sayang...almost but not quite. Hang in there, friend!
Oh oh! Pity me not since my grand plan actually did materialized! I said to myself that I am giving myself a month to look and search for a job in a month's time. Deadline is May 12. Well, last May 12, after my all-famous Sony panel interview, I did receive an offer from another company in Alabang as Business Development Officer. The pay is quite good and I can still negotiate for a higher figure, flexi-time, its up and coming since it is involved in the milkcow called telecommunications and the boss is really really bright (read: far, far, far cry from my former! haha!). But of course, there are trade-offs that I should think about. I am set to give my answer on the 28th whether I will take it or not.
God really does work in mysterious way. Before I learned about the Sony brouhaha, I received a call from another employer that somehow fits the bill of what I really wanted since. I've always wanted to do Brand & Product Marketing in a consumer company since college. I applied to several but did not get any replies since my experience is more in below-the-line ad, advertising and events. It was truly a surprised when I got a call from the HR Manager of this company (read: a huge conglomerate I truly truly truly like) and asked for an interview tomorrow. The job is good, the title is so impressive, the company is THE ONE but but but I will be based in Cebu! Huh?! WHY NOT? I am single, THEY (the who?) can wait if they truly care, I do want change, Cebu is cool and exciting...so WHY NOT? Upon further inquiry, I learned that it will just be Cebu-based but will require a lot of travelling throughout VisMin and Mandaluyong where the headoffice is! Whoa, coolness! The question? Is this for me?! After the Sony incident, seems like I don't want to go through all the hassles of applying again this soon...more later!
MISERY LOVES COMPANY
There's only one person I know who's more in pain (emotionally) than me these days. Its too early to tell but I love the texts I am receiving. *wink*
Oh! To my one great love who's OUT there who might be reading this...I am not kidding about the therapy requirement that I will need. Pack your bags and go home...OR I will just take dad's offer and have the reconstructive surgery there. Beats me.
In case you are wondering, it's my left hand who's doing the typing and all the "mousing". My right pointing finger helps a bit with the typing.
**Side Note** To my other blog's followers: I am currently reconstructing the background. The CSS files has gone haywire, thanks to Angelfire. I'm looking at other templates and will do some uploading as soon as my hand is a bit better. I also transferred some post here that are somewhat harmless. : )