Tuesday, April 19, 2005


~ I am so crazy about the conclave. I cannot stop reading and researching stuff about it. I can't stop watching CNN and BBC. I even have favorite papabiles. I can't wait for the announcement and the white smoke. I want to be in Rome. Take me to the Vatican now!

~ I will definitely DO Bora this year. Or Cebu. Or Davao. I got an e-mail from Mabuhay Miles stating that some of my free miles (8,000++) will expire in September. I should definitely use that. Free flights are still free flights. Sadly, the expiring miles can only get me round-trip tickets dosmetically. I'm thinking August. It would be fab to spend my birthday away from home. Who cares about the bad weather August brings? Off-season Boracay is still the best. I don't even care if I have to go there alone. :)

~ I'm kindda scared about my new job. It's a tough one with huge responsibilities. I hope that I can meet all their expectations. You know what's the even scarier part? The driving, the driving and the driving. I bluffed my way out of it for five years at Honda but I know I can't do it this time. This will definitely be a new, braver me.

~ Olen and Bim are vacationing in the US. I am kindda sad. I truly miss them. What a terrible time (for me) for them to go. Anyway, I still have Tin (whom I've been meeting everyday lately), Aileen and Charo. I'm truly happy when I am with them. Seems like I am problem-free, hurt-free and stress-free.

~ The Best Actress award goes to ME. People said that I am handling it very well. Yeah, right. People said that I am happier than usual. Yeah, right. People said that I am so strong. Yeah, right. People said that I will get out of it soon. Yeah, right. People said that if there's anyone who can make it through the storm unscathed, it's me. People said that the crying already ceased. Yeah, right. (well, kindda). Gee, I am such a superb actress.

~ I take it one step at a time. I am certainly better than two weeks ago but Saturdays still sucks. I found peace and comfort in my prayers and mornings are easier to bare. There are more things to do and talk about than wallow and I can say that there are already things that are making me truly happy again. I still have my days but I also know that I am on my way there even if I am still hesitant to go.

~ A friend said that you cannot win them all BUT God said I can. I believe that everything will come into place. I believe that God will make me fine again. Thy will be done.

~ If there's one thing that I learned in my new-found job...it's the art of waiting. Sometimes all you have to do is wait and the answers will come to you when you least expect it. The answer will come in His time. In His place. In His moment. Sometimes my "band-aid slash one-time-big-time policy" is not the right way to go.

~ My sister-in-law told me earlier that it seems like I am over it already since I am happy and smiling again. Not really. Not even near. It's still a looooong journey but I finally realized and accepted that there is nothing to do but move on. I am left with no choice but to let go. As if I am left with any other choice and option but THAT, right? I have a new "policy" though, I will always be nice...no matter what. Yeah, slap me on my right cheek and I would still give my left.

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