I Blog, Therefore I Am.: February 2007

In Meme, Music

I both loved them. I both love them. Love, loved, love, loved? Who knows if it is still present tense or now past tense? I am crummy with my grammar at times.

I call them my ONE and TWO. They are two of my lifetime's greatest blessings who showed me great happiness and made me realize how great my life can be.

I met One two and a half years ago. We got together after a couple of months.
I met Two several years ago but only got together two years ago.

One is smart, gentle, has quiet demeanor, sweetness and humility.
Two is strong, a leader, caring to a degree, forgiving, tolerant and assertive.

One is full of poetry, quotes and flowery words.
Two is full of hard-hitting numbers, straightforward essays & articles and a PR mileage that would impress anyone.

One has the top score in the boards, the great friends and the Baguio vacation house.
Two has the car, the cellphone and the laptop (with WiFi to boot).

One used to call me Sweetie, Bie and Babe.
Two used to call me Herbie and "the royal blood".

One and I used to love movies, wines, spa & massages and fine dining.
Two and I used to love tires, events, "Bayani Ng Kalsada" and dealer conferences.

One used to be so fond of me. It texted me day in and day out.
Two used to be so fond of me. It even paid for my parlor fees so I will look good in functions (voluntary at that!).

One used to make me feel as the "Prettiest Girl in the Planet".
Two used to make me feel as the "Smartest Girl in the Planet".

My best month with One was December 2004.
My best month with Two was December 2006.

One took me to Baguio, Anilao and Puerto Galera. All-expense paid including taxes.
Two took me to Pampanga, Baguio and Naga. Don't forget the receipts though.
(Sadly...all I want is Boracay but it both slipped in their minds).

One satisfies my emotions but Two stimulates my mind.

There were several occassions when I called both One and Two as "THE ONE".
I have my hesitations but God knows that I want them both to work.

When One is concerned...it's the avoider.
When Two is concerned...I am the avoider.

Did I ever blog about One and Two in the past?
Yep. At great length.

I often ask if I can ever have both One and Two both in my life or would it be just TOO much of a blessing for one person? Apparently...I am still not confident that I deserve ALL the good things in life.

At some point, I tried to have One and Two both in my life. I honestly cannot juggle them both at the same time. Both complained the lack of time.

One used to say that being with Two too much is just plain crazy. It said that there are more things in life than Two. Agree.
Two used to say that being with One too much makes me unfocused. It said there are other important things than One. Agree.

I fought for One until the very end. If it will give me another chance, I will fight for it even more. No questions asked.
I fought for Two until the very end. If it will give me another chance, I will fight for it but I might have to ask several questions since Two is very demanding.

Both One and Two thinks that I did not "fight for them" enough. Apparently, my "flight club" is different from theirs.

One was my inspiration to make Two work.
Two was my welcome diversion when things did not work out with One.

Both offered me forever.
Two even promised to double my savings after a certain time - making me rich for life.
Both left me.

Can I ever replace Two? Yep. But I dunno if I will love it as much.
Can I ever replace One? Let's just say that I really don't know and I am praying for answers.

Can One ever come back? Would I be blogging if I know the answer?
Can Two ever come back? I don't know. It's not over until it's over, right?

When One left I turned to "Grey's Anatomy" for distraction.
When I had bad days with Two I turned to "Grey's Anatomy" for inspiration.

When I was still hoping and praying for Two...One stood by me.
When One left... I have Two to take care of me.

My best bud John doesn't want to talk about One because it makes me depressed.
My best bud John doesn't want to talk about Two becuase it also makes him depressed.

When I told John about what happened with me and One....we talked about it for days so I can get it out of my system.
When I told John about what happened with me and Two...we avoided talking about it hoping it would creep out of our system.

Is it NOW time to let go of two of my most precious blessings? Is it now time for a clean slate? Is there a THREE and FOUR waiting for me?

I have so many tragedies and dramas lately. I have so many unanswered questions and unanswered prayers. But losing Two after I lost One (albeit a year ago) is really the huge one. I am not yet done with One and now...Two??? What is left of me? Can I ever survive this?

I honestly don't know.

One thing is sure though...I am now scared...I am very very very scared.
This is truly the big one.

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, by Abbie

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