I Blog, Therefore I Am.

Tonight is my last night in Baguio City and I am here alone blogging in my hotel room. It was a very tiring but nevertheless productive four-day work trip for me. My Baguio work-slash-adventure started when Binchy dropped me off at the Victory Liner terminal after our meeting with the Tuasons at The Fort. I took the 10:00 pm trip alone along with my trusty laptop and big bag full of clothes and shoes. It was a very relaxing, thoughtful, and enjoyable night trip. I arrived around 3:30 am in a very cool and welcoming Baguio air. I immediately went to the hotel and rested until mid-morning.



My Trip Ticket To Adventure

I went to Baguio to oversee and direct the set-up of our corporate display for the 2nd Sum-Vac Transport Show at the Baguio Convention Center. I also arranged some pre-event publicity and PR for the weekend thus my early and solo trip while the rest of the GY contingent went up Friday morning. The advantage (and at the same time disadvantage) of being the lone female on the team is having the hotel room all for myself. And if there's one thing I am so OC about, it's hotel rooms. It must be close to the city's hub if I am alone so I can always go out when I get bored. But I prefer private/secluded ones when I am with friends or family. Internet connection capabilities is a definite must. (it will have my whole-hearted praise if they have broadband). I am also nit-picky on closet space, pillows, and lights. The one where I am staying right now (together with the rest of the team) is okay but I prefer the new Pines View Hotel at Legarda where we had our sub-dealer meeting earlier. It has a country/rustic design patterned after John Hay's Manor. I initially planned on staying at the Manor but the cost is too high and it's also a bit off-city.


My Baguio Essentials: Laptop, Piccadilly journal, Body Shop Born Lippy & African Spa Lotion, the new Candace Bushnell book, my trusty Nokia 6230, and leather-bound day-to-day planner.

It was such a busy trip for me. We started the set-up for the event at 6:00 pm on Thursday night and it lasted until the wee hours of the morning the following day. Thursday was also very tiring since it was the first day of the show and there were still some things that needs adjustment and gimmicks and activities to lure the crowd to our very "dominating" booth. I am very happy since I believe that we came very strong. Goodyear is super all over the place! It reminded me of an event that I organized for Honda two and a half years ago. The activity was the Philippine Motorsports Festival held at Subic International Raceway. It was generally a good event where we spent mininal bucks in exchange for sponsorship, Run-What-You-Brung race for Honda Club members, access to the hospitality/VIP rooms, and display area with test drives for our cars. What made me insecure and uncomfy about it was this very huge, very influential, very dominating presence of a certain sponsor (that is neither Smart nor Globe). They had millions of tarpauline streamers all over the place, a big inflatable balloon and skydancer/air puppet in the middle of the track, rights to "own" several activities, kick-ass merchandising stuff and uniforms, and a strong show of force in attendance. Guess what is that company? None other than my beloved Goodyear. Thinking about it now makes me proud and happy. And that's the very ingridient I applied on the sponsored event we are having - show of force and strength in numbers! : )

Here's a show and tell:


The exciting and sought-after Goodyear Booth


The Goodyear Team
Mon, moi, Roy, Race Car Driver Jeff, Dianne, Ron and Rey


Me together with my good friend Norman.
(he owns the kick-ass Goodyear-Eclipse car that you see above.)
Thanks for lending it to us, Norms!


The Goodyear Eagle F1 models with me and Bruce Martin, organizer of the auto show.


Sun Star Baguio's OBC (outside back cover) for Sunday was devoted entirely to Goodyear.

It was indeed a productive and - I must say - therapeutic work for me. It's no secret that I am undergoing some kind of emo battle within myself lately and I am glad that I was given this task to oversee and deliver. Even if there will be no pats on the back or congratulations, I am personally proud on the success of "this weekly task". I hope that these baby steps will soon get me to higher leaps.


"Goodyear All The Way"


On a personal note, I haven't been going around Baguio save for several trips to the one-of-a-kind SM Baguio (where I shopped and splurged a little), a resto-bar called Chillout where our team had some drinks last night, and walk at Session Road in search for a perfect dinner place the other night. I believe that I am too old to go to Mines View, Wright Park, or Burnham Park but I might take an hour or two off tomorrow to attend mass at the Cathedral, check those UK shops, buy Tamtanco's ube and those favorite flannel blankies of mine, take walks at John Hay, or pray at Pink Sisters. I am actually dying to go to Cafe by the Ruins (which I heard is just doors away to where I am staying) but it might get a little too lonely for me. Solitude have some limits at times.

Everything is great here in Baguio. The weather is actually just right. I usually fret at very cold atmosphere hindering me to do anything productive. But Baguio's pre-Summer weather is perfect for me - not too hot but not too cold either. It's very ideal for leisure walks, heart-to-heart talks, OR even blogging at solitary nights.

I am here in Baguio enjoying the nice and cool weather. I just wrote a very lengthy post about my trip but I cannot upload it through my laptop. The connection at the hotel is so weird and I am having some trouble resizing our fab pictures. :(

I will try again.

At the exact same time tomorrow I'll be in Baguio...alone. I'll be taking the night bus to do some advance PR work for our event this weekend on the 2nd Sum-Vac Trans Show at Baguio Convention Center and the month-long Goodyear Roadshow up north. I am actually looking forward to the solo trip to somehow break the routine, contemplate and reflect, and do a little bit of rest if I can. Binch was kind enough to offer me a ride to the bus station after our Makati meeting tomorrow evening.

Many blogs ago, I wrote something profound on leaving my heart in Baguio.
I remember being in very high-drama when I wrote that piece in November of 2004. And why? Because Baguio used to be a land of promise to me attributed to that special someone. Sadly, what I want then did not materialize.

I had a very terrible first 2 quarters of year 2004. I moved from Makati to Sta. Rosa, made enemies with some dear friends at Honda Club, resigned from my comfort and security zone, and met an awful freak accident that resulted to two minor surgeries . I was at the point of giving up but decided, of course, to to move on. One of the very first things I did was accept a then 'comfortable choice' career offer at this company's Marketing Department. It was such a blah, blah, blah, thankless work. I was back on Jobstreet searching for new leads on my 2nd day work. It was such stressful work and I find most of the Marketing programs pointless and unecessary - making it more stressing. The only bright spot on my day-to-day existence at the office was this funny, smart guy who got a new kick-ass XDA II from the nearby department. Being the gadget-slave that I was - we initially blended and connected by borrowing each other's cellphone, playing with our camera phones, trading pictures, and sending SMS. To make the long story short, that officemate slowly became more than a friend. All the work stress and projects became light and easy with his mere presence. Breakfasts were opportunities to talk about likes and dislikes, lunches were spent with office friends and their non-stop teasing, dinner dates were memorable ones capped with the long route from Cabuyao to Makati just to make sure that I am safe and sound. Weekends were also days to look forward to. There were out of town trips to Batangas, stolen head kisses that were momentous, dinner and movie dates at Rockwell, and even relaxing afternoons at The Spa. To say that he brought life back to my life was an understatement. Everything seemed wonderful, beautiful, and true then. The giddy feeling I had in those early days was totally incomparable until this very day.

Then here comes Baguio.

I admit that I fell to soon. I expected too much. I risked my otherwise kept feelings. It was one of those rare moments in my life when I decided to forget about pride, risked and fell freely with my used-to-be cynical heart. Nothing was ever the same after our Baguio trip. The world fell after Baguio. Gone are the giddy days of a young love. It was replaced by a more serious out take and views on love and life - which caught me totally off-guard, unprepared and defenseless. Forever became so hard to reach after Baguio. It was the awakening. The turning point of to be or not to be. It had the early warning signs which I ignored that led me to where I am today.

Flashback to October 2004:
All the people from our department were invited to Baguio but me and Aimee (we were the two new girls then) for the Halloween/All Saint's Day Weekend. Plans were already circulating through the e-mails and we were out of the loop. An oblivious officemate asked me my plans without knowing that I was not invited. I got furious and sad at the same time - since they were planning to stay at my special guy's place in Baguio and I was not invited. My guy got wind of what happened and got mad at his designated organizer for not inviting the most important person in his life then. Withstanding all ongoing plans, he invited me instead and discouraged everyone from the office from joining. So we went to the Summer Capital for four days - together with his four college friends. I was so excited and happy prior to the trip. I had all of these thoughts and longing of us being finally together. Of us being the "we" and not just the "you and me". It almost happened but it never happened. Baguio and the promise "bingo" to friends never happened. Along with it were unleashing of baggages, sad stories of the past, and realizations that giddiness doesn't necessarily leads to forever. We both expected too much and we both turned into great disappointments. On the car on our way back to Manila, I told him that maybe my goal in his life is just to open his heart once more to love EVEN if that love is not necessarily for me. Thanks to my great mind for saying and thinking that. Thus I truly felt that I lost my heart in Baguio.

A lot happened between that Baguio trip of 2004 and my upcoming Baguio trip tomorrow. We developed a huge deal of attraction, care for each other, and the best romantic relationship one could ever imagine. Most of our times together were happy ones though I must admit that a lot of my solo moments were full of anxiety, undecisiveness, worries for the future, and of "what might have beens". Sadly, we decided to end that romantic chapter of our lives two Fridays ago. I am not happy about it and I am often bitter about it. I admit that I am still a bit far from fully accepting things and there's still a part of me that still hopes. There were still nights when I couldn't sleep but I can generally say that I am coping well and in the process of moving on and letting go.

So, is it time to retrieve my lost heart in Baguio? Let's see.

Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition had its 5th and last nomination night this evening. It was such a bomb! Apparently, the 40 or so more days that the six remaining housemates spent with each other were not enough to build long-lasting friendships with each other. Big Brother instructed the six housemates to nominate their peers live in each other's presence rather than the usual confession room route. Bianca was obviously apalled when Rustom nominated her for reasons of him not having a clear vision of what her purpose of joining. Bianca (and friend Zanjoe) retaliated by nominating Rustom - prompting him to join the two and Budoy as the last batch of nominees. It was very clear that the house is divided - Rustom, Keanna and John on one side - and everyone else on the other side. The triumvirate has bonded so well in the last weeks that made them indestructible from the rest of the housemates. Having live nominations tonight also guaranteed secured places for them (almost - since Rustom still have to face two eviction nights this week) in the Big Four. It was very evident that there's connivance between the three and Zanjoe and Bianca were the biggest targets. I believe that this is actually not deliberate but a choice of "not having any other choice". Zanjoe and Bianca are actually the kindest members of the "other group" which originally rivaled the triumvirate. The other members of the group were Christian and cry-baby Roxie. Amidst all of these, Budoy was caught in the middle but was nonetheless nominated by John and Bianca for the lame reason of being spared from the first batch of nominations until tonight.

The same approach was used before to Nene, Jason, Cass, Uma and Say on the last nomination. Each of them were asked to vote live in each other's presence and it was quite effective. Comical, even. But there were major differences from then and now: 1) there was a prior nomination between the PBB Season 1 housemates at the confession room before the live one - they obviously cannot change their answers and they cannot vote the others out of retaliation - unlike what happened earlier; 2) housemates then were on their 100th ++ days when that happened - longer bonding days already transpired and factions were already broken.

So what will it be? It can be anyone's ballgame! ZANJOE has a definite following as evident on the result of the last votation where he topped the ranking to everyone's surprise - we all thought that John Prats would be the highest-rater. Zanjoe's kind deeds, good looks, low-profile personality, and impending romance with Bianca might save him from eviction. I am actually surprise to him still in the house. Bianca would still be his key to the Big Four. If Bianca gets evicted before he does, there will be a huge chance that he will eventually follow. BIANCA has never been tested yet but she can really get overwhelming votes due to her nice personality, winning looks, and popularity. She can really stand on her own even without the backing of her team-up with Zanjoe. There's a really good chance that she'll good chance she'll make it - especially if sucker for love texters decides that they want romance at the house and votes for her and Zanjoe. BUDOY is the all-around neutral housemate who will try his luck the first time on the hotseat. He's a shoo-in especially after appealing to all his Visayan and Mindanao friends and relatives. The South vote really does have a lot of say, just look at Cassandra Ponti who survived evictions four times! As for RUSTOM, he definitely had his 15-minutes of fame (and multi-million bucks which he was rumored of receiving in exchange for his coming out) which we kept on talking about until this very date. He really did grab some headlines from GMA's State of Emergency when he revealed his true identity in National TV. He survived eviction from that but can he still pull it off especially if he's going against nice-girl Bianca (which he's obviously not crazy about) and revolutionary funny man Budoy? I am sure that bestfriends Keanna and John will double their efforts in making sure that their buddy Rustom will join them in the Big Four.

As for the Big Winner...if things go well (and Budoy will not pull a miracle) I am almost sure that Keanna will win this hands-down. She got the highest percentage of votes (ever) on her last nomination with Aleck and Roxie. I think it was around 63% - a feat which she shares with Franzen. Aside from statistics, this girl was a revelation. Her strength, compassion and sweet demeanor definitely changed the hearts of many. She can be silly yet motherly and caring. Winning PBB will definitely compensate for very vivid and colorful past which was full of misery and hardship. Go, girl!

Some friends of mine saw this blog last year and asked where I get the energy to write such lengthy (and sometimes emotional) posts? Or more conveniently, where do I get the time to write down the things that bugged me, pissed me, or made me happy each blogging day? I actually don't know the answers. In fact, I sometime surprise myself that I can write and express myself with such drama, emotions, and even beauty and intellect at times. My writing style/s reflects WHO I AM or who I want to be - free-flowing and unrestricted. I have no formal writing education and my grammar is far from flawless - there were even times when I just let it be and wouldn't even bother to correct them. The idea of taking Journalism or Creative Writing in college bores me to death (I took instead the more exciting Mass Communication route). I cannot see myself spending time writing themes, poetry, haikus or any other structured forms of writings. WRITING IS MY ART and I want it like an abstract. It's a past time, a way to express my anger, love, and every bits of emotions that I feel inside - with the absence of an editor who will cross-mark, delete or revise what I wrote. On this blog - I am the unrestricted queen of the world. My word and work is all mine. This is my art.

Blogging soothes and comforts me in a way I cannot imagine. It's a direct form of release and expression. I may not be the best stage actress nor the ballerina that can pirouette in toe shoes* - but I know that I can be the best writer if I want to. The funny thing is part of my work at GY is develop news streams and press releases - and most of the time I am not THAT good. Weird 'no? For someone who can write 3 to 5 paragraphs in 20 minutes on daily musings, it can take me as much as 1 hour to write a decent and acceptable one paragraph news article. But I believe that it can change. It must change. My boss told me once to strengthen the things which I know I am best in doing which most people cannot do. He said that whatever it is will be my key to more wins and success not just in the workplace but life in general. WRITING is my answer. Anyone can conceptualize and implement a kick-ass consumer promotion given a few marketing experience and education, but not anyone can write. It's a gift which I now realize (and thankful) I have.

I started "writing" when my grade school friend, Lindsay, gave me an uber-cute Hello Kitty diary in 5th Grade. Prior to that, my "art" was ballet and my biggest dream was to go to advanced ballet class and learn how to dance in toe/point shoes. Sadly, I quit mid into my intermediate class to devote the time to studying. Stage acting became my life's art in highschool and for a time I even considered on going to Theater Arts in college. My parents discouraged me for the lack of life after the drama and the lights of being on stage. Nonetheless, the most notable and favorite character I played was Portia of Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. It was really no biggie and was just part of a class' final requirement for one of our subjects but it was just so memorable for me. Portia is William S's most kick-ass and a-okay heroine, she rocks! After those short but memorable stints in ballet and acting --- writing becomes me (along with the News Editor position in our highschool paper). I kindda lost it for a while during my "studious/nerdy phase" in college but thanks to blogging - I rediscovered it and made me realized that it's my treasured talent and gift.

So...I guess...watch out for those neat GY press releases from me, huh?

~*oOo*~

Favorite Song of the moment: I Love You More Today Than Yesterday